secret government agent: tell me right now, do aliens smoke weed
mulder: [tied to a chair in a dark room] i wont ever tell you this
secret government agent: *punches mulder in the face* what kind of weed do aliens smoke
mulder: *spits blood on the agent*
secret government agent: where can i buy this dank ass space weed
mulder: fuck you
if you threw a pad or tampon into a crowd of boys they would probably all scream and it would be like that scene from monsters inc where george gets contaminated by a sock
i don’t even know what to say about my downward spiral into haven aside from: it’s 5:32pm and i’m getting drunk on the good beer with my best friend who i pretend to hate a lot, while making pancakes.
omg this poor guy who’s fixing our toilet probably wants to kill me like i’m so sorry i am the typical white girl who can’t speak spanish to save her life and am making this process a thousand times harder because i can’t actually describe to you what’s wrong with it.